


Variable Stars

by krabapple



Series: Variable Stars universe [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-09
Updated: 2011-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krabapple/pseuds/krabapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just because it's called a Snuggly doesn't mean you're any less of man," Rodney added.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Variable Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Unabashed kid!fic, but otherwise, no warnings. For for putting up with, aiding and abetting my love of kid!fic. Use and abuse of Ancient devices and alien cultures abounds. General spoilers for season five up to "The Prodigal," but assumes no McKay/Keller, so can probably be classified as AU from "The Shrine" on.

John was zipping up his tac vest when Teyla spoke.

"Do not forget, John, we must stop by the town square on our way to the gate." Her voice was slightly muffled as she tied her boots, but her words came through loud and clear, as well as her meaning – _This has gone well so far. Do not screw it up for us._

"Of course, Teyla," John said easily, double checking his pockets for the right materials.

"That's right, Sheppard. We wouldn't want to leave here without your gift," McKay said. Even though he didn't actually use his hands to make air quotes, they were still palpable around his use of the word gift. "What kind of gifts to you think they make out of blood on this planet anyway?" Rodney continued.

"Maybe a painting," Ronon mumbled. Teyla shot him a wry smile that she tucked away when John caught her eye.

"Oh, yeah," Rodney said. "You ever do a painting in blood, Ronon?"

"Watercolors only," Ronon grinned.

John raised his eyebrows. "You two could take this show on the road."

"Like your Abbot and Costanza," Teyla offered.

John and Rodney exchanged a look. "Abbot and _Costello_ ," John said.

"Then who is Costanza?" Teyla asked.

Rodney groaned.

"From _Seinfeld_ ," John said.

"Is that the show with the duck?" Ronon asked.

Rodney groaned louder. John glared at him. "That's _Friends_ ," John explained.

" _Seinfeld_ is the one with the diner," Rodney tried.

"With the mother and daughter who like to drink coffee," Teyla said.

"No, that's _Gilmore Girls_ ," Rodney said, exasperated. John looked at him. "What? It's a good show." John raised an eyebrow. "It is!" Rodney insisted.

"I do find that man Giles very enjoyable," Teyla said, pushing through the entrance of their tent into the bright sunlight.

Rodney gave a fake sob and followed her, Ronon on his heels.

"And thus ends our early morning tour of 90s Earth television," John said, sliding his aviators on and following his team.

The morning was bright and crisp but a little cool on M87-X71, otherwise known as Echipera. Long time trading partners, the team had received an invitation to the annual harvest festival and had been warmly received when they attended. This, the morning of the third day, was their last; they would be taking their leave after saying goodbye to the elder Loyla and her group. John had been promised a mysterious gift that would be delivered to him that morning. The only information even Teyla could acquire was that it was a gift of great beauty that only the most deserving received – heroes of great stature and nobility. Loyla had smiled at John enigmatically after pricking his finger at the evening feast; it made John nervous, but Teyla had seemed relaxed enough, so John had tried to go with the moment.

As all four team members had been put in the same spacious tent quarters, it was not a problem for them to be ready to depart and in the center of town at the appointed time. Loyla was waiting for them. She and Teyla exchanged a warm hug as the men followed, John and Rodney flashing smiles at Loyla and the rest of the Echiperians, Ronon standing quietly but benignly next to them.

"Colonel Sheppard!" Loyla exclaimed, coming forward and wrapping John in a hug before taking his face in her hands.

"Um. Ma'am," John said, trying to smile his most charming smile even though Loyla was still holding his face.

"John Sheppard. You are a man of great integrity," Loyla started.

John tried not to flush, catching Teyla's smile out of the corner of his eye.

"A man of intelligence, loyalty, and grace."

Rodney coughed into his hand, earning himself a subtle elbow to the ribs from Teyla.

"You are a great friend to our people, and thus, we offer you the greatest gift we have, inherited from the Ancestors."

"Ancestors?" Rodney muttered. John could practically feel Rodney's ears perk up.

Loyla only smiled, turning back to the crowd of people behind her. One of the women handed her a bundle of blankets, which Loyla in turn handed to John.

John, who was expecting only blankets, had to adjust quickly. Loyla hadn't handed him linens: she'd handed him a baby.

"John?" Teyla asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"I –" John turned carefully toward Teyla, holding the baby in his hands, away from his body.

Teyla stepped forward and looked. Her eyes widened and turned on Loyla, who was beaming.

"What?" Rodney asked, eyes flitting from John to Teyla to Loyla and back again. " _What_?"

"I. I can't take this," John said.

Teyla placed a hand on his arm. "This gift," she said. "It is too generous."

Loyla's expression dimmed a little.

"The parents. Surely this is too much to ask of your people," Teyla tried.

"Parents?" Rodney echoed. He stepped up to John's side. "It's a _baby_?"

"Cool," Ronon said. John shot him a look.

"Wow," Rodney said, folding the blanket out away from the baby's face and peering at it. "Huh."

Loyla only looked confused. "The parents? Her father is John Sheppard."

"Father?" John said.

"Sheppard?" Rodney asked at the same time.

Loyla stepped forward, coming to John's side. She smiled down at the baby in his hands. "She is yours, John Sheppard. It is a gift from the Ancestors that we are able to do this."

"Do what, exactly?" Rodney asked, a little sharply. Still, Teyla nodded her agreement.

"Children are the greatest blessings we can we receive. Thanks to the Ancestors, we are able to create life using only one parent. It is a special gift, one we use rarely. These children are highly prized on our world. They are the beautiful creations of their parents and of our Parents, the Ancestors."

"I take it there's some kind of –" Rodney paused, his hand circling in the air, "device that does this."

"The Cradle," Loyla said.

"Of course." Rodney covered his eyes with his hand. He looked at Teyla and John, then tilted his head in the opposite direction. "I'll just go take a look at this . . . cradle." He sighed.

"We would be honored for you to do so, Doctor McKay," Loyla said gently.

"I will accompany Rodney," Teyla said, her hand leaving John's arm.

"Yeah," Rodney said. He motioned at Loyla. "Lead the way."

The trio walked away and the crowd of Echiperians slowly dissipated, following them. John took a deep breath, looking down into the small, red face he held in his left hand. The baby sighed deeply but did not wake.

"She looks like you," Ronon said, causing John to look up. Ronon was still studying the baby carefully. "Even her ears are pointy," he continued, using a gentle finger to brush along the shell of the baby's ear.

John swallowed.

 

***

 

John had been through any number of strange debriefings in his time, both in the Air Force and in Atlantis. This one, however, seemed to qualify as the strangest of them all.

Jennifer Keller had brought up two different strands of what looked like DNA on two different screens. "The baby is, indeed, genetically the daughter of John Sheppard." She pointed to the first screen. "From the DNA sample we took from the infant, one of her x chromosomes is nearly identical to Colonel Sheppard's own."

"And the other?" Woolsey asked, hands clasped together on the table. John bit the inside of his cheek.

"The other seems to be a mutation of the Colonel's y chromosome. Some of the same genetic strands, but not all," Keller answered.

"So we're not talking about a clone," Woolsey confirmed.

 

"No. Aside from the difference in sex, there are other genetic markers that are unique to the infant that are not found in Colonel Sheppard's DNA. We think the device stores genetic material from its previous blood samples and uses that to fill out one parent's DNA."

"From what we can tell," Rodney started, "and my team is going to need more time to study the device and go through the Ancient database, of course – "

Woolsey nodded his consent.

"From what we can tell so far, we think the device works as part genetic mutation device and part womb; it uses the DNA from a blood sample to generate a fetus, which is then incubated within the device. From what the natives told us, all of this takes somewhere between 6-12 hours to occur," Rodney said.

"Easy way to make a baby," Ronon observed.

Rodney shrugged. "Easy, but not foolproof. From what I could gather from Loyla, the 'cradle' only works properly maybe a third of the time they use it."

"Which only makes the children it does produce that much more precious to their culture," Teyla said.

"And the device is of Ancient origin, Doctor McKay?" Woolsey asked.

Rodney nodded. "Almost certainly. The technology is unmistakable. And . . ." Rodney shrugged. "They seem like the type to want to be able to reproduce without. Well, with as little mess as possible, let's say."

"And such a piece of technology would prove helpful to worlds that have found large portions of their populations culled. They could repopulate fairly . . . quickly," Teyla added.

Silence penetrated the conference room for a minute.

"This is the only device of its kind we've found?" Woolsey asked.

"As far as we know of," Rodney answered. "My team is looking for mentions of it in the Atlantis database and the anthropologists are looking for references to anything like this in their materials."

"Very well." Woolsey paused and then looked at Keller. "This infant is healthy?"

"In every way I know to check. She's a perfectly healthy newborn baby girl," Keller said, stealing a glance at John. "We're monitoring her in the infirmary just in case, but so far she's been doing well."

"My people have donated some supplies – clothing, blankets, bassinette, even some of the formula your people provided for us," Teyla added.

"And I've already sent a databurst to the SGC for the Daedalus, requesting further supplies, so we don't have to tax our Athosian friends," Keller said. Woolsey nodded.

John blinked. "Wait." He gestured palms out and away from his body. "Wait. You all are talking like she's _staying_ here."

Rodney tilted his head. "Where else would she go?"

John shook his head. " _I_ don't know. Back to Echipera? To the Athosians? Some other planet? Earth?"

"Are you saying you'd like for the SGC to arrange an adoption?" Woolsey started slowly.

"No. Yes. I don't know," John grit out. "I just . . ."

"Maybe we should speak privately for a moment, Colonel," Woolsey said quietly.

John grimaced. "Sure. Yeah."

"Well. Ladies, gentleman. Good work. Thank you," Woolsey said, dismissing the rest of the staff.

John didn't look at any of them as they slowly left the conference room.

***

That was not a conversation John had ever wanted to have in his life – or that he had expected to have. And certainly not with _Woolsey_ of all people. Truthfully, John felt like a suddenly knocked up teenage girl – what did he want to do? Did he want to keep the baby? Arrange an adoption?

Woolsey had assured him that even though adjustments would have to be made, John could still keep his rank and job as military commander of Atlantis. Of course, being military commander of an alien base and having a newborn was a significant and unusual confluence of events, but the SGC was willing to be flexible. All of John's duties on Atlantis would remain intact, and he would still be allowed off-world, with his same team – though perhaps less frequently. If that was not acceptable to his team members, they could rotate off to other teams.

There would be certain legalities and regulations to follow, of course. He and Lorne were not to be off-world at the same time, for one. John would have to appoint guardians in his absence, and even in the event of his death.

In the event of his death. John groaned to himself. The day had started out so promisingly, his largest problem the chatting of his team. Now he was walking to the infirmary to see his newborn daughter.

 _His daughter_.

John sighed.

Keller greeted him as he came into the infirmary, smiling warmly. "Colonel Sheppard."

John nodded. "Doctor Keller."

"Um. I take it you came to see her."

John bit his lip and nodded.

Keller continued to smile. "Come this way. She's still sleeping, but she's been fussing a bit; we think she might be ready to eat soon." Keller walked John toward the back of the infirmary. "If you'd like, we'll get a bottle ready and you can feed her."

John nodded, not knowing what to say.

Keller led him to an area slightly cordoned off, a privacy curtain hung around the U-shaped area. Keller drew the curtain back, revealing an open medical incubator with an index card with BABY GIRL SHEPPARD inked on it in permanent marker. The baby was sleeping on her back, swaddled in a blue blanket, probably borrowed from Teyla. Tiny wires protruded from underneath the sleeves of her clothing, where she was being monitored by Keller and her team; machines far larger than the baby herself dwarfed the incubator. Someone had found and set up a rocking chair next to the incubator. Again, John suspected Teyla. Keller smiled at him and left, giving him a gentle squeeze on the arm.

John knelt down so he could see the baby, face to face through the incubator. On impulse, he put his hand on her chest, feeling it rise and fall with every breath.

"Hi, baby," he whispered. John sighed, feeling very stupid. He was talking to an infant -- _his_ infant.

"You know, well. You might as well know now – I'm not very good at this stuff. Like, talking. And feelings. And talking about feelings. Uh."

The baby shifted underneath his hand but otherwise didn't offer a reply.

"And, boy, are you really tiny," John said, looking at her wee fingers, curled into a fist. "Like. Too tiny for me, maybe. I didn't think I was ever going to be a dad, that I ever wanted to be a dad. My dad wasn't so great, so." John paused, blew out a breath. "I also have a big job here. This isn't a very safe place. I mean, Atlantis is great. It's _awesome_. But I'm a grown up. And the Wraith aren't very awesome at all. Not that you need to know about the Wraith yet. You're too little for the Wraith."

That was the understatement of the year. Still, Torren was too little for the Wraith, too, but Teyla had had him with joy anyway. She also had had months to get used to the idea. John sighed. He took in the girl's shock of dark hair, sticking up at the back as she started to wiggle and whine a little in her sleep.

"Hey, hey. Hey, baby girl. You don't have to do that. I think Dr. Keller went to get you something to eat," John said, patting her tummy gently while her eyes started to blink open.

"Hey. Hi. I'm just not sure I'd be any good for you," John admitted. "Maybe you'd be better off with someone else. What do you think?"

As if in real reply, the baby's eyes blinked open, and she seemed to look straight at John. Her eyes were the blue of most newborn babies, but they seemed to pierce John straight to the center of his heart.

John sucked in a sudden breath, as if he'd been kicked in the chest. "Oh, I am so very, very screwed," he said.

Keller walked in, shook a bottle of formula at John, and smiled.

 

***

 

The next morning John found Rodney, Teyla and Ronon at a table in the mess, one of the good ones near the windows; someone, or more likely three someones, must have gotten there early.

John set his tray down and sat in the empty seat next to Ronon.

Teyla inclined her head. "Good morning, John," she said.

John nodded at her. "Teyla." He poured some sugar into his coffee and started to stir.

"I hope you slept . . . adequately," Teyla smiled.

John shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

Rodney rolled his eyes dramatically where he was sitting next to Teyla. "For God's sake –" he started. "Ow!" He rubbed his arm where Teyla had made contact with her fist.

Ronon grinned.

"I thought," Teyla said, her tone a bit scolding, "that we were going to allow John as much time as he requires."

John blushed and ducked his head.

"Have you ever known McKay to stick to a plan?" Ronon asked.

Teyla tilted her head as though thinking about it.

"I _always_ stick to the plan, just because you people keep _changing_ the plan does not mean I should be required to read your minds – "

"I'm keeping her," John interrupted, speaking down toward his tray. Rodney broke off and Teyla started beaming. Ronon slapped John on the back so hard John nearly dropped his coffee cup.

John cleared his throat. "But. It's going to mean some big changes around here." He looked up to see all three of his teammates looking at him intently.

"Of course, John," Teyla said.

"You're not leaving Atlantis, are you?" Rodney asked.

John shook his head and Rodney immediately looked relieved. "I'm staying on Atlantis; I'll still be military commander. Woolsey's worked it out with the SGC."

Ronon leaned back in his chair.

"But I probably won't be going off-world as much. I mean, I still will, but. Well, I'll be grounded more."

Teyla nodded. "It is hard to be a parent and be off-world," she said.

"So if, um. If any of you want to switch to other teams, so you can be away more often, then you should feel like you can. No hard feelings."

Teyla started to speak again, but John held up a hand. "No, I want you to think about it. If we only go off-world maybe twice a month, that's a lot less. Some people want to go out more. Think about it before any of you tell me anything official, okay?"

John got three nods from around the table.

"And other things – they're going to have to change, too. Lorne will be handling a lot of the day to day operations, at least until. Later. When she's older. I'll be on what Woolsey's calling paternity leave for at least the next six weeks or so. Maybe two months. And." John stopped, rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"John." Teyla reached a hand across the table, put it on John's forearm. "We know there is a lot to consider. We will also all be there for you during this time." She looked around at Ronon and Rodney and got mumbled agreements.

John half-smiled. "Thanks." Teyla squeezed and then released John's arm.

"So," Rodney clapped his hands, rubbed them together. "Have you thought of a name?"

John groaned.

"You haven't named her yet? That could scar a kid for life!"

"Rodney!" Teyla admonished.

"His name is Meredith," Ronon said. "He might know what he's talking about."

John chuckled while Rodney glared at Ronon.

Rodney returned his attention to John. "Seriously, John. She can't stay Baby Girl Sheppard forever."

John raised an eyebrow. "How do you know what they're calling her in the infirmary?"

"I. It's just. Standard proce –" Rodney stopped when John raised his other eyebrow. "I might have visited a couple of times last night." He raised his chin. "You were asleep in the rocking chair."

At that, John ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You were only holding her once, both of you sleeping; the other time she was squirming in the incubator."

John, Teyla and Ronon all stared at Rodney. "Oh, shut up. I care about people, too. Don't act so surprised," he huffed. Teyla tucked a grin behind her hand. "And she still needs a name, Sheppard. Stop trying to change the subject."

"Seems like Meredith is a good name for a girl," Ronon said, grinning.

John and Teyla both burst into laughter when Rodney started sputtering.

 

***

 

"I feel ridiculous," John said.

Teyla gazed at him appraisingly. "I think it looks fine, John."

"I've adjusted the straps. It certainly fits," Rodney added.

"Wait until you get her in there," Ronon said. "Then it'll feel better." Teyla nodded.

John put his hands on his hips and sighed. "I could just carry her."

"You could – for this trip. But what about when you are walking around Atlantis? Your arms would get tired very quickly," Teyla said. "I should know."

"Think of it like a backpack for gear. Only it's strapped to your front," Rodney said.

Ronon nodded from where he was sitting on the gurney opposite John.

John sighed again. Keller had insisted on keeping the baby in the infirmary for the first few days, just to make sure her progress and condition remained stable – it's not like she'd had anything near a normal gestation or birth. But now, at the end of the first week, the baby was finally going home, or at least the home that was John's quarters. The entire team was there for the event, and Rodney had shown up with an item he had mysteriously procured from somewhere John did not want to know about.

"Just because it's called a Snuggly doesn't mean you're any less of man," Rodney added.

"Oh, God," John said.

At that moment, Keller entered, carrying the baby. "She's all set," Keller said brightly. "Healthy, happy, and ready to go home." She handed the baby to John, who gently, and with not a little bit of difficulty, fit her into the carrier on his chest.

Once the baby was settled, Keller handed John a clipboard. "I just need you to sign and she'll be officially discharged," she said. John took the proffered pen and signed his name, handing everything back to Keller.

Keller smoothed her hand over the baby's head. "Bye, Baby Girl. We'll see you soon for your checkup."

"You still haven't given her a name?" Rodney asked, almost indignantly.

John glared. "It's a difficult decision, Rodney," he grit out.

Just as Rodney opened his mouth to reply, Teyla spoke instead. "Let's take her home," she said.

Ronon jumped down from the gurney. "Let's go."

The team walked out of the infirmary together, John in the front, Ronon on their six, almost as if they were on an off-world mission or in a combat situation. John would have found it funny if his gut weren't as twisted as if this _was_ combat.

When they got to his quarters, John waved his hand in front of the door panel and stepped inside. He stopped so short that Rodney ran into his back.

"What in the –" John started. When he'd left that morning, his quarters had looked the way they always had, though there was a crib set up in the corner near his desk.

Now, his desk had been pushed to the opposite wall, near the door, and the crib area was a riot of soft colors – pinks, yellows, greens, all painted on the wall in small stripes. There were pink sheets on the crib, and blankets. A stuffed lamb, bear and bunny were holding court in the crib. By the crib were boxes of supplies, all stacked neatly and labeled. There was also a car seat carrier, and a bouncy baby seat; what was clearly a small bathtub and baby towels were stacked near the bathroom. A small white bureau with a changing table on top had been assembled near the window next to the crib. A colorful mobile hung above the crib.

The rest of the team squeezed in the room behind John. "The Marines have been busy," Teyla said approvingly.

John turned to her. "You knew about this?"

She nodded. "We all did."

"We set it up as a surprise," Ronon added.

"Surprise!" Rodney announced, wry amusement in his voice.

John swallowed. "I. Uh. I don't –"

"You're welcome, John," Teyla answered, smiling.

John walked over to the crib, using his finger to set the mobile spinning. It seemed to be made out of a substance that looked a little like paper mache; the figures weren't animals or geometric shapes. Instead there was a puddlejumper, Atlantis in miniature, the command chair, and one of the control room consoles, all hung from a replica of a stargate, all painted in pastel colors.

"Rodney made the mobile," Teyla announced. John turned around and stared.

Rodney flushed slightly. "It was nothing. Simple engineering," he said, but walked over next to John. He pressed a button on the stargate, and the mobile started slowly spinning and playing music. "Uh. A little Mozart. Something soothing, I thought."

"Wow," John said. "It's – cool."

"Yeah," Rodney said, eyes still on the mobile.

"Yeah," John said, and smiled.

 

***

 

John found Rodney in his lab a few days later. He'd left the baby temporarily with Teyla so he could be free to run a couple of things by the Marines and get some of the paperwork on the baby into Woolsey. Rodney was bent over his laptop, furiously typing as usual. Zelenka was on the opposite side of the counter monitoring both his own computer and a larger screen that seemed to be running some kind of simulation.

"Hey, Rodney," John said.

Rodney didn't even look up. "Hello, Sheppard." He typed a bit more. "Did you change the variable to eight?" he asked.

Zelenka looked over quickly, ''Yes, Rodney." He went back to monitoring the screen.

"Uh, I don't mean to interrupt," John tried.

"You're not," Rodney said, still typing.

John sighed. "Rodney."

Something in his voice finally made Rodney look up. "What?"

"I. Well. I have a favor to ask you."

"Okay."

"It's kind of a big favor."

"If this is about that new xenobiologist, I can't –"

" _Rodney_ ," John sighed. "It's not that kind of favor."

"Oh. So?" Rodney asked.

"It's about . . . the baby," John said.

Zelenka looked up. "I can go, if you need some –" he gestured toward the door.

John waved him down from getting off his stool. "No, it's fine Radek."

"If you say so," Radek said, but he seemed to be studying his laptop with more attention than was probably strictly necessary.

"Okay, so, shoot," Rodney said.

John took a breath. "You know I need to, have to, appoint a guardian –"

"Oh. Well. I think Teyla would be an excellent candidate. Not Ronon. Not that Ronon isn't great –"

"I'm not asking for suggestions, McKay," John clarified.

"No?"

"No. I'm. I'm asking you. To be the guardian," John said.

Rodney blinked. " _Me_?"

"Yeah." John bit his bottom lip and looked sideways for a moment.

"I. Not that I'm not flattered. I mean, of course I'm flattered," Rodney stammered.

"If you don't want –"

"No! I mean, yes. Yes. I mean. Of course," Rodney said. Radek looked up quickly at Rodney but just as quickly went back to his computer. "But. I – don't you have a brother?"

John sighed. "Yes. But. We're not that close."

"Oh. Still –"

"I. I wanted it to be someone in Atlantis. Someone who could tell her all about it, well. If I'm not," John swallowed.

" _Oh_. Right. "

"And I also wanted someone who was from Earth, too, who could. You know. Show her both places. And you have some family. I thought that might be . . . nice."

"Well. Okay. That's logical," Rodney said.

John barely kept himself from rolling his eyes at that note of approval. He shifted his weight on his feet. "You're, you know. My best –"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Right," John said.

There was silence. Radek coughed.

"So, will you?"

"Oh. Yes. Yes, of course. I. I'd be honored," Rodney said, and he sounded like he really was. John smiled.

"Great. I have the paperwork." He handed a sheet of paper to Rodney. "You'll have to sign at the bottom."

Rodney took the paper. "Sure." He paused. "Oh! There's a name in that space! You finally named her!"

John rolled his eyes.

Rodney squinted. "Jean Louise?" He looked up. "You named her after my sister?"

"No. I mean, I like Jeannie and all, but."

"Are you sure?"

John glared a bit. "I'm sure. It's. I wanted to call her Scout, you know, but I didn't think it'd look that great on all the official stuff, so."

"Who are you, Bruce Willis? Have you seen _Die Hard_ one too many times?" Rodney asked.

John crossed his arms. "I. It was. My mom. It was her favorite book. So it's. Sort of for her." He looked down.

"Oh," Rodney said. "Scout Sheppard. That's . . . nice."

John hummed.

Radek looked over. "Rodney, sign paperwork before the man has stroke, please."

"Oh, yes. Okay, right." Rodney picked up a pen that was on the countertop and signed. He handed the paper back to John.

"Well. Thanks, buddy." John gestured over his shoulder. "I'm just going to, you know, drop this stuff off to Woolsey."

"Yeah, we'll just get back to work," Rodney said.

"Good-bye, John," Radek said. He looked at John. "I like Scout. Very cute. It suits her."

John smiled. "Thanks, Radek," he said as he left the lab.

 

***

 

John opened the door to his quarters, looking a bit wild eyed. The second he saw Rodney he grabbed a fistful of Rodney's t-shirt and dragged Rodney into the room, shutting the door behind him with a thought.

"Jesus, Sheppard, what –"

John waved his hands at Rodney, all but wringing them. Scout was crying from her place in the crib.

"What?"

John ran his hands through his hair. "I can't. She won't. She won't stop crying."

Rodney frowned. "Isn't that what babies do? That's why you had to radio me?"

"Yes, yes, Rodney. That's what babies do. Is that kind of knowledge what they require for a Ph.D. in physics these days?"

"Hey, there's no need to get –" Rodney stopped. "What is that smell?"

John looked away, went to pick up Scout from her crib. He cradled her head and neck gently, balancing her on his shoulder.

Rodney walked toward him then stepped back. "God, Sheppard, is that _you_?"

John turned on him; he was wearing only a worn set of black sweatpants, and his dog tags jingled against his chest as he moved. He was swaying back and forth gently, but his eyes were still wide, and Scout was still screaming.

"Probably, Rodney. I haven't showered in, like," John stopped, actually having to think about it.

"Oh, God," Rodney said.

"Four days. Today is Thursday, right?"

"It's Friday! At 11:30 at night!"

"Okay, Rodney! So I haven't showered in a while. I've had _other things to do_."

"Okay, okay," Rodney held his hands up.

"I mean. Do you have any idea? I. She needs me for _everything_." Scout wailed in agreement.

"Yes, right. Of course."

"I can't even. I haven't. And she hasn't pooped in at least twenty four hours!"

"Geez, Sheppard."

"It's a problem, Rodney! Keller says it's perfectly normal and that it'll resolve itself, it's probably the formula, but it makes Scout uncomfortable. And that makes her fussy, and she won't sleep, which means I don't sleep _at all_ , and I can't do anything about it," John finished, and Rodney knew the last part was the biggest problem of all.

Rodney took a breath. "Okay. Let's. Let's figure out a plan."

"A plan."

"Sure. A plan. Like, like on a mission."

John looked skeptical, moving a still crying Scout to his other shoulder. "Like on a mission."

"Right. Um. Let's do a division of labor. You. I'll. I'll take Scout for a while. "

"Really?"

"Sure. You can. Well, why don't you shower, clean up a little?"

"Nice, Rodney."

"No, really. Take your time, relax a little bit. I'll watch her."

John thought about it. "She might need to be fed soon."

"Okay, well. I can do that," Rodney said.

"There's a bottle in the mini-fridge that's ready. You'll need to heat it up."

"I can do that."

"But not too hot, or –"

"I got it, Sheppard."

John sighed. "I would like to shave," he said, rubbing one hand on the beginning of his beard.

"Fine. Why don't you do that? I'll hold down the fort here."

"If you're sure you can –"

"We'll be fine. We'll be right here. We're not even leaving your rooms," Rodney said.

"Yeah, okay." John visibly relaxed, handing Scout over to Rodney.

Rodney took her a little awkwardly, but soon had Scout settled against his chest.

"Don't, you know –"

Rodney huffed. "I'm not going to drop her."

"You dropped Torren," John protested.

"Once!"

"Once is enough, Rodney."

"Would you just go?"

John continued to keep an eye on Rodney and Scout, even as he pulled fresh clothing out of his drawers.

"Just go," Rodney repeated as John went into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Your daddy is a pain in the ass," Rodney confided.

Scout hiccupped in agreement.

 

***

 

By the time John emerged from the bathroom, showered, shaved and freshly dressed, Rodney was sitting on the couch, Scout dozing in a rather restless sleep on his shoulder.

Rodney lifted his head from the back of the couch as John came to sit next to him. "She threw up on my shoulder," he announced.

John chuckled. "She does that." He walked over to the bureau with the changing table and picked something up, throwing it at Rodney. It landed on Rodney's head with a soft thwup. Rodney removed the offending piece of fabric. "That's what burp cloths are for," John said.

"Yes, well, fine," Rodney said.

"I take it she ate," John said, sitting next to Rodney on the couch.

Rodney shrugged. "Just a couple of ounces."

John nodded. "That's about par for the course today. Like I said –"

"She hasn't pooped. I got it," Rodney said.

John grinned, putting his own head on the back of the couch, titling it so he could still see Rodney. "I never thought I'd be so interested in poop."

"Yeah, I never thought you would be either, Sheppard," Rodney said, shifting a little into a more comfortable position.

"Well, she doesn't feel very good, do you baby girl?" John said, reaching out a hand to rub his daughter's back softly.

Scout snuffled a little.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Rodney said.

John frowned a little but said, "Sure."

"Are you. Are you happy you kept her?"

John didn't look at Rodney, but did drop his hand from Scout's back. "I. Yeah. Yeah, I am." He stopped.

"Okay," Rodney said.

"She's the best thing that's ever happened to me," John almost whispered.

" _Oh_."

"Yeah," John said, tipping his head back a little on the cushion.

"Well," Rodney started. But when he glanced back over at John, John was asleep, too, mouth open as he started to snore softly.

Rodney smiled and tried to get even more comfortable, closing his own eyes, just for a little nap.

 

***

 

Seven weeks after Scout's arrival, SGA-1 was assembling in the gateroom for its first off-world mission. None of his teammates had chosen other teams, though Lorne occasionally borrowed Rodney when he needed extra science help, or Ronon for extra muscle, or Teyla for a particularly tense diplomatic meeting. John didn't mind them helping out, and he admitted to himself that he was glad they got to stretch their legs – and that he was also relieved they had stayed together. He kept offering to let them go from SGA-1. But after Teyla looked at him like he was crazy and Rodney had told him to shut up for the hundredth time, he stopped. The beat down Ronon had given him during stick practice the last time John asked him was enough to get John to drop the subject entirely.

Woolsey joined the team as they finished zipping up, tacking on, and doing their pre-gate check. "It is nice to see you all together again," he said.

"Thank you, Mr. Woolsey," Teyla said, inclining her head. "We are feeling happy to be completing this mission together."

John nodded, knowing he was happy about it, and thankful for the opportunity to get out a little bit. He'd been feeling cooped up lately, too. Still, he was a little apprehensive about leaving Scout for the first time, especially to go off-world.

It must have shown on his face, because Teyla nodded at him, "She will be fine, John."

John nodded.

"Right. I'm sure _Cadman_ is as capable a babysitter as she is . . . well, anything else she is," Rodney said. Teyla shook her head, and Ronon shoved Rodney in the arm.

Various members of Atlantis staff had signed up for childcare shifts for their military commander. John had thought it was an intrusion on their daily work; every member of the expedition was both very smart and highly valuable, and John had felt badly about wasting their time at first. But the enthusiasm of the volunteers, who rotated on a schedule John still didn't quite understand, was going a long way to alleviate John's guilt. Today was, clearly, Cadman's shift.

"I'm sure it'll work out just fine," John said, raising an eyebrow at Rodney. He made sure he had his P90 at the ready. This was supposed to be a simple diplomatic mission to a first-contact planet, but John knew better than to be complacent.

"Well, in that case, if you all are ready –" Woolsey looked around the circle and got nods from the team. "Chuck, dial the gate."

John felt a familiar thrill as the chevrons clicked into place and the wormhole whooshed into life. He grinned and led his team into through the stargate.

 

***

 

John was hardly grinning as he and the team trudged back through to Atlantis hours late. He was wet, muddy, and sore, with a wound to the crown of his head that was still bleeding. Teyla was limping from a strained ankle, Rodney shivering from the cold. Only Ronon seemed intact, though he was already pacing the gateroom.

Woolsey was on his way down the stairs to meet them. "What happened?"

Ronon growled.

"Fucking Wraith worshippers, _that's_ what happened," John spit out.

"Colonel Sheppard," Woolsey started.

"Goddamn lousy excuse for human beings who nearly call the Wraith down on their own people, _and_ on us," John said.

Woolsey looked at Teyla, who nodded. "They – are a singular group on their planet. With us there, they thought it would be a prime time to alert the Wraith to their planet, sure they would receive extra . . . compensation for our lives as well."

Woolsey sighed. "You stopped them before they could reach the Wraith?"

"Indeed," Teyla said. "Though not without some casualties." She sighed.

Woolsey took in the group. "It seems you were nearly casualties yourselves."

No one answered.

"Fine," Woolsey said. "I think the best course of action would be for all of you to visit the infirmary. Once you are cleared by Doctor Keller, we'll schedule a debriefing, probably in the next couple of days. Colonel Sheppard, I'll want your mission report in hand before the debriefing."

John nodded sharply.

"Now. I'll have Banks alert Doctor Keller that you are on your way," Woolsey said.

"Tell her the others are on their way," John said.

Woolsey turned around from where he was on the first of the steps to the control room. "Colonel?"

"I have somewhere else to be," John breathed out.

"John –" Teyla started.

"Colonel, I must insist – that head wound looks serious –" Woolsey said.

"I'll get it looked at. But not right now," John barked, turning on his heel and stalking out of the gateroom.

"Teyla?" Woolsey asked.

Rodney, Ronon and Teyla exchanged glances. "I'll go," Rodney volunteered. He waved a hand when Teyla started to speak. "I'm only wet and tired. You need to have that ankle checked out, and to see Torren. I'll check in with Keller later." Teyla looked ready to argue for a moment, but she nodded.

"C'mon, I'll walk you to the infirmary," Ronon said to Teyla, and the two started out of the gateroom.

Woolsey looked ready to say something, but stopped when Rodney held up his hand. "Very well, Doctor McKay," he said, and continued up the stairs.

Rodney walked out of the gateroom and found the transporter nearest to Cadman's quarters.

 

***

 

By the time Rodney got to Cadman's rooms, Cadman was on her way out.

"He, uh. Told me to take a break," she said.

Rodney sighed and passed a hand over his eyes.

"Yeah, you should . . ." he started.

"Is everything okay, Rodney?" Cadman asked.

"Oh, probably. It will be," Rodney said. "Could you maybe get us some water from the mess?"

Cadman nodded. "Sure." She waved her hand in front of the panel to give Rodney access to her quarters as she walked away.

Rodney walked into Cadman's quarters. Predictably, John already had Scout in his arms; he was holding her tightly, but she didn't seem too perturbed by her father's state of dishevelment. John whispered something in her ear, and kissed it.

"You drew the short stick, huh?" John asked.

Rodney's chin went up. "Actually, I volunteered."

"I'd have guessed Teyla," John said.

"Well, you got me," Rodney said. "Sorry to disappoint."

John stepped closer and sighed. Scout was looking at his face with wide eyes that had by now turned a light shade of green, what Keller said would probably be her permanent eye color. "I'm not disappointed, McKay."

Rodney snorted. He watched as John put his nose next to his daughter's neck and breathed deeply before kissing her on the cheek; he'd never seen John so openly affectionate with anyone or anything before.

"It was just one mission, Sheppard," he said.

"Just one, Rodney. One of how many that we've been on that's ended in disaster?"

Rodney threw up his hands. "A lot. Sheppard, what do you expect? This is the _Pegasus Galaxy_. It likes to fuck with us just for shits and giggles!"

"I know that, McKay," John gritted.

"So what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sensitive, McKay."

"Nice, Sheppard." Rodney continued. "So what, John? You have a kid and suddenly everything changes?"

" _Yes_ , Rodney. That's kind of how it _works_."

"Well, then either quit or suck it up! You're the one who made the choice to keep her."

" _I know_. I just." He jiggled Scout a little bit as she fussed quietly, kissing her on the top of the head.

Rodney sighed.

"I never had anything to lose before, all right?" John admitted.

"Yeah, only your own life," Rodney said.

"Yeah," John said.

Rodney stared at him. "You are such a dumb, self-sacrificing, stupid piece of –"

"Hey!"John protested.

Rodney moved closer. "Oh, shut up. What about Atlantis? What about the team? What did you think we'd do if you died on one of your suicidal stunts?"

"You're adults! You'd be fine!"

"Not those of us who love you," Rodney shouted. His eyes flashed but he closed his mouth tight as his words caught up to him.

John raised his eyebrows. "The way a friend loves another friend?"

"Right," Rodney said caustically. He cleared his throat, trying to collect himself. "And Scout would be fine, too – she'd always have a place here, friends, family. _Me_."

"I know," John said softly.

"Okay. So. We'll just." He had to stop when John leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was warm, and soft, and lasted just long enough for Rodney to want more as John pulled away.

"You just kissed me," Rodney pointed out, gaping a bit.

"Yeah," John said. "I'm gonna do it again." He did, gripping Rodney's tac vest in his free hand. This time there was wetness, and just the slightest swipe of tongue.

"Love me?" John asked, pulling away just slightly.

Rodney flushed to the roots of his hair. "Yeah."

"Huh," John said. He hadn't let go of Rodney's vest.

"Isn't this kind of sudden?" Rodney asked.

John shook his head. "I didn't know I missed her until she was in my life. Always makes me think about other things I'm missing."

"Oh."

"Having a kid changes everything, Rodney," John said, his breath a sweep against Rodney's lips.

"So it's not the head wound."

John huffed a laugh. "No."

"Lack of sleep?"

"No."

"Have you pooped lately?"

John started to laugh. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

"No," Rodney said.

"Good," John said, and kissed him again.

 

***

 

Keller had allowed John out of the infirmary on the condition that John rest in his quarters – no duties for twenty four hours.

Rodney thought, as he crawled up onto the bed next to John, that John was doing a good job of following orders for once. John was on the bed, propped up against some pillows with a very content Scout sleeping on his chest. For a minute, Rodney thought John was sleeping, too, but John cracked an eye open as Rodney settled down next to him.

Rodney reached out and lifted up one of Scout's covered feet. "Footy pajamas," he said. These even had pink circles on the bottom, like paws.

"They're pretty awesome," John said.

"I wish they made them for adults," Rodney added.

John grinned. "Watch this," he said, and pulled up the hood that was currently on Scout's back to cover her head. Suddenly she was sporting bunny ears.

Rodney muffled his laughter with a pillow.

"I think you'd look good in a pair of these, McKay," John said, Scout rising and falling with John's own laughter.

Rodney hit John with the pillow.

"Hey, watch it! Baby!" John protested softly, though he was clearly still amused.

Rodney grinned, and pulled his laptop from the bedside table. "I brought a movie over if you want to watch it."

John nodded. "I can't promise I won't fall asleep in the middle of it, though."

"Fair deal," Rodney said, bringing up the file on his hard drive.

John started to laugh again when the credits to _Die Hard_ came up on the screen. He had to put a comforting hand on the baby's back when she stirred. He kissed the top of her head, and she settled back down, finding her thumb with a sigh.

When Rodney took his other hand, John didn't pull away, instead resting his head on Rodney's shoulder and sighing in exactly the same way as his daughter.


End file.
